Nightmare confusion part deux

Girl 1: I had a dream the other night where i was pregnant. Ever since that night, I’ve felt nauseated and I’ve gained three pounds.
Girl 2: [eyes widen] Oh my God!
Girl 1: No, no, it’s alright I’m a virgin still.
-Hallway

For funny accents, go North!

Student: [talking to teacher about a person they know.]
Teacher: Sounds like they are New Englandy.

How bout them apples?

Girl: I don’t know where to go eat with my boyfriend, I don’t want to pick a place he doesn’t like.
Male Teacher: Don’t worry, guys would eat a pocket knife if you cooked it for them.

Germ freak

Girl 1: [Talking about classroom] It smells like someone got sneeze juice on everything in here.
Girl 2: Ew, no! Don’t say that.